Sunday, January 31, 2016

Good luck

Good luck, Victor. You really shouldn't have cheated on me with that bimbo. Let's hope you're as good as her at getting some man to take care of you, because nobody is really going to believe that you're really Victor Massilov, the great Russian gangster.

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Away!

Put that wand away! I don't want to change back. Do you have even the slightest idea how awesome my life has been since you gave me this body?

Friday, January 29, 2016

As if

We, gross. Look, just because I got turned into a babe when your stupid witch of a sister cast a spell that backfired on me, don't assume that I'm suddenly into guys. More to the point, don't assume I'm into you. If I'm stuck like this until she finds a way to reverse this, I'm at least going to date me one who doesn't have killer  halitosis.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Incredulous

Wow. I still can't believe that's my face, my body in the mirror. I haven't really felt like I've been walking in my own skin since the lab accident. But the professor said I better get used to this as there's no way back to my old body. I guess it's nice that my new body is a smoking hot babe, but I just know I'll be uncomfortable with the stares I get when I leave this bathroom.

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Desperate

Please! You can't leave me here. This isn't my body, and I'm dressed like a cheap slut. I have no ID, no money...I'll do anything to get back to the lab...yes, even that.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Defeat

Liam eventually had to admit defeat. The remote was nowhere in the house, which means it must have been taken by one of the men he invited back to his home for sex. But which one? There were so many!

Monday, January 25, 2016

Happy?

Are you happy now? Look what your witchy powers have reduced me to. Without any ID, I had to take any job I could get, and I had to suck dick to land even this position. Is this any way for you to treat your husband?

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Escape

Having escaped from the facility where he was an unwilling test subject for the biomorphic nanites, Dr. Olson realized he had to warn the public before the water supply was contaminated with the same nanites that had changed him. Would anyone believe a naked, busty Asian girl? Or would the whole city transform to become just like him?

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Angry

I've been turned into a girl, given next to nothing to wear, and dumped into a strange city with no money or ID. Why, then, do I seem do be fine with that, but I'm mad as hell over the run in my pantyhose? Someone is messing with my mind...

Friday, January 22, 2016

Warning label

Ever since I found that cursed video game that turns the loser into a sexy girl, my parents have insisted that I carry a warning label when I go out in public. I like to challenge strangers to the game, and ever since my early losses, I've gotten quite good at it. Care to lose to me?

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Memories


Waking up in a strange body, Dylan tried to piece together how he had transformed into a sexy drow that, until last night, had only existed as a character sheet. There had been candles and bourbon and chanting.  That's when Dylan learned a valuable lesson: don't drink and game.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Rescue

"Jake, come on. We're here to rescue you from this place. We'll find a way to get your old body back, I promise."

"But I don't want to leave! Master is so good to me when I do my job well. You'll understand when he gets here. His mansion could use a few more maids."

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Repantsing

Don't be disgusting. Put your pants back on. Just because I'm in your girlfriend's body doesn't mean that I'm going to do the same things for you that she does. If you want to have sex with this body, you better fix that damn machine of yours.

Monday, January 18, 2016

Point proven

OK, you have proven your point. Somehow, you got the power to change people's bodies. Now can I please have my old body back?... You want to show me how you can change people's minds, too? No thanks. I believe you. Please don't...Who, Honey, of course I wouldn't mind sharing you with other girls. I'm the best girlfriend in the whole world, aren't I?

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Career Change

Yeah, I knew what I was getting into when I volunteered for the undercover vice squad. It wasn't easy giving up my manhood to get close to Vito Mascarpone, and it was even tougher to live as his lover for a year while  we gathered evidence against him. But we brought him down, and I appreciate your commendation, Chief. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to resign from the force now. Living as Felice has given me a taste for the good life, and now that I control Vito's money, I can make that happen. Don't worry, Vito's criminal empire is a thing of the past. But Felice's Empire of Pleasure is about to begin.

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Tomb of Tiresias

The discovery of the tomb of Tiresias was going to be the crowning moment of my career. However, it's unlikely that I'm going to get credit for it. For starters, no-one is going to believe that I am Professor Anthony MacLiesh.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Let me guess

No, don't tell me what your third wish was. Let me guess. Was it something like "I wish my buddy Paul would turn into a sexy woman in lingerie who would be my horny girlfriend"? Oh, no reason, sweetie. Just a hunch...wait! Did I say "sweetie"? I meant to say "hot stuff". No, that's not right either. You...sexy thing...I'm so...turned on...that you turned me into a chick. Argh! Nothing's coming out right. I'm so mad I just want to fuck you right now!

Thursday, January 14, 2016

I used it

Honey, you know that special bath oil that you told me never, ever to use?

I used it.

Like looking into a mirror, isn't it? At least now I understand how you look so young and sexy all the time.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Spa Treatment

My wife had to drag me to a Palm Springs spa vacation. Can you imagine a more boring way to spend a week? But I have to admit, after a week at the Nu Life Spa and Resort, I feel like a whole new person! Maybe it's something in the water here.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Wonder Wish

Look, I know you thought you were doing us a favor when you wished that all of your friends could become real live superheroes. Bill became Superman, and that's awesome. Ramon is now Green Lantern. Good for him. But your stupid genie decided for some reason that I would make a good Wonder Woman. She was fine with leaving me Asian, but she had to go and take my dick. So, thanks for the superpowers and all, but do you know how infuriating it is to get catcalls every time I go out to fight crime?

Monday, January 11, 2016

That zap gun of yours

Fuck you and that zap gun of yours. It was bad enough the first time when you turned me into a chick. But each shot after that turned me curvier and sexier. God, I'm so top-heavy that I can barely stand up straight. Are you sure that thing doesn't have a "reverse" setting?

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Un petit peu enceinte

When you said I could spend the year in France as part of a student exchange program, I assumed I would be spending it in my own body. Now don't get me wrong, it has been a blast getting to know Paris through the (literal) eyes of Chantal, and even more of a blast getting to know every inch of her body, but there has been a little problem. I may have gotten her body a little bit pregnant when I went out drinking last month.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Enough!

Enough already! Look at me. I'm in your body. I'm wearing your wedding dress. I'm about to exchange vows with your stupid fiance. You've had your laughs. When are you planning to swap us back?...Oh, this was your plan all along, wasn't it?

Friday, January 8, 2016

Recipe

No matter how many times Phil tried to recreate the recipe that swapped his gender, he was never able to duplicate it. However, his cooking skills have improved, and "Phyllis' Lingerie Kitchen" has become one of the most profitable channels on YouTube.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Loser

Ever since they replaced paintballs with transformation pellets, Jason has been playing to lose.

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Jealous

Hey, there are our wives. I think it's funny that they thought they were punishing us by turning us into the chicks we were ogling. This is a million times better. Look how jealous they are that were having the time of our lives. And won't they be surprised when they find that their magic wands have been "accidentally" broken.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Becoming Jessica

"Holy crap! You're her! You're Jessica Nigri! What are you doing at my house?"

"Relax, Steve, and let me in. It's me. I'm Charlie."

"Look, I don't care if you really are Jessica Nigri. Don't fuck with me. Charlie disappeared a month ago. And he sure as hell didn't look like you."

"It is me. I swear. I found an old spell book in my grandmother's attic. It had a spell that would let me take control of someone else's body."

"And you chose the hottest cosplayer in the world?"

"Well, duh. But something went wrong. The spell was only supposed to last for a day. I can't switch back, and I'm stuck living Jessica's life until I can find the spell book. But it looks like my parents sold it at a rummage sale when they cleaned out the house. You have to help me find the book!"

"Dude, are you sure you want to go back? I mean, look at you!"

Monday, January 4, 2016

Next time, hire a lawyer

Really, Dan?  How many times have we talked about how important it is to phrase a wish as specifically as possible? You'd think you had never played an RPG before. You must have known that when you wished for "a hot car and a hot babe to go in it," at least one of us would end up being changed into a girl. I guess I should count myself lucky that I'm not on fire.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Avenge me!

I made a wish to have the power to become any superhero I wanted. I assumed that I would become a shapeshifter, able to change forms at will. Instead, I found that after I changed into a certain Avenger, I was stuck in that form for good. I should have been more specific.

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Sister

Dude, how much longer do I have to live as your sister? I think she must be tired of living in my body by now, right?...Accident? What accident? What happened to my old body?

Friday, January 1, 2016

Wrong bottle

Hey, guesh what? Remember how we were gonna shwap the champagne with Bimbo Liqueur for the New Yearsh party? Well, I got a little drunk and I think I made a little mishtake. She's? This bottle was supposed to bimbo us into turns, and those one was shupposed to shwap ush back. But I think I brought two bimbo bottlesh by mistake and I accidentally drank both of them.

Happy 2016!