Hi, John! It's me, Jack! I found out it was you who slipped me the potion and shipped me off to Thailand. I guess you thought I would end up as a cheap hooker. But I didn't become senior vice president without being resourceful. I'm doing quite well here. And I just wanted you to know that I bribed your cleaning lady to spike every drink in your house with the same potion you used to change me. From the look on your face, I can tell you had your usual after dinner scotch last night. Don't worry, the change you'll experience in a few hours is painless, and I'm sure you'll do well as a cute Asian girl. If not, there's always prostitution!
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