Emissary

People of earth! The Vraxeen have named me their emissary in order to communicate their ultimatum to you. Once, I was a tired old man with stage four cancer.  The Vraxeen have given me this young, healthy body.  They offer us this and all of their technological marvels for one low price: they want to convert the earth into a pleasure planet resort for them...

Missed the boat

I looked around the entire forest, but I could find no trace of the alien spacecraft.  They had chosen to study Earth humans by swapping the body of their science officer with that of a typical earth man--me.  Now their ship is gone and they seem to have forgotten to switch us back. Perhaps that science officer was pleased at the idea of being the only male in an all-female race. Great for my old body, but my male mind is starting to get worried about switching back.

Closer encounters

The alien spacecraft swept over the beach, bathing everyone on it with a purple ray of light. I felt sick and disoriented right before I blacked out.  When I came to, I was in the body of that sunbathing woman with the incredible rack.  I saw a sixty year old man crying for his mommy.  I saw two teenage boys reach into their trunks and scream at what they found there.  And, judging by how the lifeguard is flopping on the sand and gasping, I'm guessing that his mind is in one of the fish off the shore.  I think I got off easy.  I wonder who's wearing my old body?

Area 69

The aliens held me for over a month, poking, prodding, and learning what they could about human reproduction. They twisted and remolded my body to test out all of their theories. In the end, they removed my Y chromosome and replaced it with an X.  When they were done with me, the dumped me in the middle of the Nevada Desert. Great. I wonder if one of these cars will stop for me?

There they go

I watched the alien ship disappear over the horizon. They weren't going to come back, I realized. I had been nothing more than a lab rat to them.  They had delved into my brain and twisted my body. They turned me into a creature out of my deepest fantasies. I guess I had assumed that they would turn me back when they were done and wipe my memories. No such luck. I was stuck like this now.

Redistribution

The aliens had us in their ship for over a month, but as promised, they returned us to earth.  Only they did not set us down in our homes, or even in our own bodies.  I'm in the body of that Italian model who was with us on the ship, and I think I'm somewhere in South Asia. What am I going to do?

Weak

Oh, hi, honey. This is Gregory. He touched the alien artifact, too. We were just having a discussion about the challenges of suddenly finding yourself in the body of a hot young woman.

In bikinis.

In our hot tub.

Alien radiation

It took two years and a journey of a thousand miles, but I found the exact spot where the alien spacecraft had landed. It was just as I predicted. The residual radiation from their drive rewrote my genes into something...better.

Alien parting gift

Jim, you have to help me. While I was checking out the fence on the north forty, a big old flying saucer flew over me and beamed me up. Some aliens then went and shoved a probe up my pooper, and when they was done they told me they was sorry and I could have whatever I wanted. So I told them that I wanted a blonde with big old titties. I had no idea that they was going to turn me into a blonde with big old titties. What am I going to do, Jim?

ET Phone Home

Dude, you're never going to believe what happened. I got kidnapped by aliens. They poked and probed me for three days, then they told me that they would give me a superior form based on my subconscious, to compensate me for my troubles. They must have read the wrong fantasy, because this is how I ended up. And, dude, be careful. I think they're coming for you next.

Shipping error

Donna, the hot blonde next door, and I were kidnapped by aliens. For weeks, we were poked, prodded, and probed. Finally, they decided that Earth was not worth their interest, and they used their matter transmitter beam to return us to our native environment. Only they seem to have crossed the streams or something, because when we got home, we were in the wrong bodies. Not that I'm complaining. Let Donna deal with the aches and pains on my former seventy-five year old body. I'm off to a pool party!

Alien to alien

The aliens snatched me off a desert highway. The poked, prodded and probed me for days. When they were done, they had chopped up my body and put my brain in a jar. Then they offered to restore my body however I wished. I tried to send them a mental image of Christopher Pine, but I guess I'm such a comics nerd that an image of a superhero popped up from my subconscious.

Given a choice, I probably would have picked Superman or Flash. Being a chick has taken a lot of getting used to. But I'm loving being a Kryptonian! I get to help people all day and party to an insane degree all night. Just don't tell the aliens that Supergirl isn't a native of earth. Their legal team would make me give back this body...

At least you weren't probed

She's new to this whole "alien TG" thing.

Bowties are definitely cool.

I thought it only disguised the TARDIS. But I'm happy to be proven wrong.