Alien parting gift

Jim, you have to help me. While I was checking out the fence on the north forty, a big old flying saucer flew over me and beamed me up. Some aliens then went and shoved a probe up my pooper, and when they was done they told me they was sorry and I could have whatever I wanted. So I told them that I wanted a blonde with big old titties. I had no idea that they was going to turn me into a blonde with big old titties. What am I going to do, Jim?