So thanks for staying with me. I know you have questions about my current situation that you're just dying to ask, so I might as well get to them now.
I didn't meet Supergirl until three months after I had changed. I was pretty well established in the League at the time. Even Batman had to grumpily admit that, even though I was not the same as the old Kara, I was doing a good job. (By the way, I think I will reserve exclusive use of the adverb grumpily for when I walk about Batman. Nobody pulls it off like him.) I still hadn't adopted a secret identity and gone out in public. The stories I heard in the League lounge frightened me about confusing my life even more than it already was. So I hung out almost exclusively with other supers. It was cool getting to know then as individuals, and I count many of the League among the closest friends I ever had. And, no, I haven't had sex with any of them. Yet. Not that I'm not curious. But I don't want to rush into anything. I'm still hopelessly confused about myself in many ways. Am I a man trapped in a woman's body? Am I gay, bi, straight? I don't want to screw anything up with people I genuinely care about because I want to scratch a sexual itch. So for now, I'm taking care of my own needs, and we'll see what develops.
Anyhow, apart from missions, the only time I go out in public is on goodwill appearances. Superman explained these to me as such: people have a capacity for the heroic within them, but as long as they revere us as gods they will not allow that potential to come out. Seeing us as people helps them see the heroic in themselves. Canary told me these appearances were to generate enough warm feelings that the public doesn't turn on us the next time we accidentally destroy a city block in a battle with Sinestro. The Flash said people just want to see my tits up close. In truth it was all of those things, plus kids. I never really thought about kids much back when I was a man, and if I did I saw them as creepy and gross. But having kids cheer you and look at you with so much admiration and trust...man, if for no other reason, it makes it all totally worth it. And they actually listen when I offer them platitudes like "believe in yourself" and "sometimes the tough choice is the right choice." If my dad said those things to me, I have completely forgotten them. But apparently a superhero lends authority even to the most trivial inspirational quote. I'm changing lives, dammit. Now, as far as their dad's raging boners go...well, we're back to creepy and gross.
I first met Supergirl at one of these public appearances in Anchorage. I think they chose us because we save the League transportation costs (you would not believe how much bean-counting goes on behind the scenes). I didn't ask her straight up why it had taken so long for the two of us to cross paths, and you could see from her body language that she didn't want much to do with me. We did our thing, posed for pictures (and I deserve a fucking medal for not ripping the arm off the oil worker who grabbed my boob), and spoke briefly to the press. We slowly circled the city twice before heading home. That's when she said her first four words to me.
"You fly like shit."
"They don't think you're new. They think you're her."
"I'm not."
"Damn straight."
"I'm sorry. Were you close?" OK, you have to realize that even at that point I had no real clue who Power Girl was or where she came from. Clark filled me in on some sketchy details about being a Kryptonian and not really being from Krypton because she was from another dimension, but he never really got into the relationship stuff. Having been a guy, I totally get that. However, at that moment, I was cursing him for not explaining to me about how I was connected more closely to Supergirl than I could have ever possibly imagined.
"Of course we were close!" Supergirl's eyes flashed with anger, and for a second, I thought she was going to blast me with her heat vision. For a second, I was genuinely frightened.
"Oh, my god," I said. "Were you...lovers?"
Her rage reached a peak, but then understanding dawned, and Supergirl gave a bitter laugh. "You really don't know, do you? Kara and I were more than close. We were the same person: Kara. I mean, we're not from the same dimension, but she was me, just a little bit older. It was hard at first, but we grew close, and we shared things I never thought I could share with anyone..."
We stopped flying, hovering somewhere over the Canadian Shield. I could see that she was fighting back tears. For my part, I was having a pretty serious case of the feels as well, and my own eyes were growing misty. "I'm so sorry," I said. "I can't replace what you lost, and I'm sorry that I remind you of her just by living. I'll stay away from you if you..."
"No. I'm sorry for how I behaved towards you. It's not your fault. You must be going through a lot yourself. Don't leave, don't change. It's still good to be reminded of her, even if it hurts. And part of her still lives on in you. I want to hold on to that." I've never been a touchy-feely person, but I knew when it was time to offer a sympathetic hug. I drew Kara to me and held her for a long time. We just hovered there, wordlessly, while we each enjoyed a good cry.
Then, as we were calming down, I realized that Kara's hand was stroking my breast.
"Um, Kara...?"
"Sorry. We used to touch each other when one of us was feeling bad. We felt that, since we were technically the same person, it was all right. I used to love how intimate we could be. I'll stop if it makes you uncomfortable."
"If I'm uncomfortable," I said, "It's because I'm worried you're vulnerable right now, and that I might be taking advantage of you. Honestly, I've had more trouble coming to terms with being a woman than I have had with coming to terms as a superhero."
"That's sweet," she said, giving me a tender kiss on the cheek. "It's nice to know that you still find me attractive."
"Good self-image, I guess."
We both laughed a little then. She guided me down to the wilderness below, and we made a bed for ourselves in a drift of fresh snow. We held each other for hours, gradually growing more comfortable as light petting escalated into full-on exploration of each other's body. When we finally made love, it was not the mountain-smashing kinky erotica of some people's imaginations, but an expression of kindness, compassion, and comfort. There, in the snow, in the arms of Supergirl, I felt fully whole since the first time she had changed. She later told me that she had felt something similar, being able to move from the comforting illusion of loving her alternate-dimension self to fully trusting and giving herself to another being.
We started seeing each other seriously after that. We took some ribbing from the League, but on the whole they were very supportive of us. We came out to the world after that. Since the public was as clueless about the relationship between Kara and Power Girl as I had been, this was largely cast as "two aliens finding solace in each other's arms," which, while not telling the whole story, was not too far form the truth. Now that I had someone I could trust and confide in, I felt better about myself, and I was more able to use my powers to help the League and to to my best to protect humanity. Kara calls me "Marcus" when we're alone together, and that's about all that remains of my new identity. As far as anyone knows or cares, I am Power Girl.
And the mountain-shattering sex that came after was just icing on the cake. ;)
"Of course we were close!" Supergirl's eyes flashed with anger, and for a second, I thought she was going to blast me with her heat vision. For a second, I was genuinely frightened.
"Oh, my god," I said. "Were you...lovers?"
Her rage reached a peak, but then understanding dawned, and Supergirl gave a bitter laugh. "You really don't know, do you? Kara and I were more than close. We were the same person: Kara. I mean, we're not from the same dimension, but she was me, just a little bit older. It was hard at first, but we grew close, and we shared things I never thought I could share with anyone..."
We stopped flying, hovering somewhere over the Canadian Shield. I could see that she was fighting back tears. For my part, I was having a pretty serious case of the feels as well, and my own eyes were growing misty. "I'm so sorry," I said. "I can't replace what you lost, and I'm sorry that I remind you of her just by living. I'll stay away from you if you..."
"No. I'm sorry for how I behaved towards you. It's not your fault. You must be going through a lot yourself. Don't leave, don't change. It's still good to be reminded of her, even if it hurts. And part of her still lives on in you. I want to hold on to that." I've never been a touchy-feely person, but I knew when it was time to offer a sympathetic hug. I drew Kara to me and held her for a long time. We just hovered there, wordlessly, while we each enjoyed a good cry.
Then, as we were calming down, I realized that Kara's hand was stroking my breast.
"Um, Kara...?"
"Sorry. We used to touch each other when one of us was feeling bad. We felt that, since we were technically the same person, it was all right. I used to love how intimate we could be. I'll stop if it makes you uncomfortable.""If I'm uncomfortable," I said, "It's because I'm worried you're vulnerable right now, and that I might be taking advantage of you. Honestly, I've had more trouble coming to terms with being a woman than I have had with coming to terms as a superhero."
"That's sweet," she said, giving me a tender kiss on the cheek. "It's nice to know that you still find me attractive."
"Good self-image, I guess."
We both laughed a little then. She guided me down to the wilderness below, and we made a bed for ourselves in a drift of fresh snow. We held each other for hours, gradually growing more comfortable as light petting escalated into full-on exploration of each other's body. When we finally made love, it was not the mountain-smashing kinky erotica of some people's imaginations, but an expression of kindness, compassion, and comfort. There, in the snow, in the arms of Supergirl, I felt fully whole since the first time she had changed. She later told me that she had felt something similar, being able to move from the comforting illusion of loving her alternate-dimension self to fully trusting and giving herself to another being.
We started seeing each other seriously after that. We took some ribbing from the League, but on the whole they were very supportive of us. We came out to the world after that. Since the public was as clueless about the relationship between Kara and Power Girl as I had been, this was largely cast as "two aliens finding solace in each other's arms," which, while not telling the whole story, was not too far form the truth. Now that I had someone I could trust and confide in, I felt better about myself, and I was more able to use my powers to help the League and to to my best to protect humanity. Kara calls me "Marcus" when we're alone together, and that's about all that remains of my new identity. As far as anyone knows or cares, I am Power Girl.And the mountain-shattering sex that came after was just icing on the cake. ;)
Good story. I like this change of pace for the blog
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