Look, I know you don't believe that I'm really Simon. If you looked into my eyes for a second instead of at my rack, you might see I'm telling the truth. And unless you believe me, the viral nanites that are in the confetti cannons are going to start their work as soon as they go off at midnight. Hurry, we don't have much time! They're due to go off in five...four...three...two...Oh, Happy New Year, hot stuff!
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