Truth, Justice, and a Killer Bod

The Zeta Wave had done what legions of supervillains had failed to do for generations. In less than a second, the green pulse of light had reduced the earth's supers to lifeless husks, indestructible lumps of flesh without souls or minds to animate them. That's when normal criminals ran wild. As police had grown lazy by relying on supers for so long (and criminals having to be all the more ruthless and creative because of them), the pendulum of justice swung dramatically to the dark side.

There was one hope for justice: the Omicron Device. It could transfer minds, but, sadly, it could only be powered by consuming a star. Superman had charged it with a dying red giant just before the Zeta Wave hit. We had one shot, so the plan was to have a volunteer of impeccable moral character sacrifice their body to inhabit a body capable of interstellar flight. Then, the volunteer could recharge the device and thus earth's supers could be preserved.

That's the way it was supposed to work in theory. I'm Mike Johnson, the "volunteer of impeccable moral character." I used to be a fireman, and I won a Broze Star in the first gulf war. I saw my chance to help others, and what kid doesn't dream of being a superhero and fighting crime? They were pretty clear about it: when I woke up in the Omicron Chamber, I was going to be Superman.

At least that was the plan. I woke up like you see me. Nobody knows how my soul jumped the intended target and landed in Power Girl, who was two states away at the time. You would think being able to fly, use heat vision, and lift an aircraft carrier would be a huge adjustment, but the truth of the matter is, I was more freaked out about having a vagina and a pair of spectacular tits. This body felt amazing! Every pleasurable sensation was a million times more intense. I wondered at how the original Power Girl was able to do anything but play with herself all day.

In a nanosecond, I realized that making this body feel pleasure was my main goal in life. Impeccable moral character or not, I did not want to spend my life at the beck and call of the authorities who expected me to do their work for them. And their first request was to recharge the only device that could create the only beings capable of keeping me from getting the pleasure I deserved. One blast of my heat vision destroyed the Omicron Device. Without super intellects to rebuild it, and without a star to charge it, I'm the only game in town.

And what a game it's been! Sure, I spend some time fighting crime. With super speed, I can clean up a dozen cities in a day. And none of this "follow the spirit of the law" crap. I want to make it clear who is in charge. It's a good thing that this white uniform repels all stains.

That leaves most of the day and all of the night to have fun. Nobody, male or female, can resist the Magic Cleavage Window. I've had sex with supermodels, porn stars, and actresses--sometimes all in the same night!  I suppose I should feel bad about selling out the earth, but with each spectacular orgasm, I remind myself that it's my world now.