Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Fairy in a jar

I didn't believe in fairies either, until I found an injured one in my back yard. I suppose I could have nursed her back to health, but instead I put her in a jar so I could show her to the world. She begged for her freedom, offering me youth and sexual charisma in exchange for unscrewing the lid. I should have demanded specifics before letting her go.

Monday, January 16, 2017

Last Skype

Don't look at me like that, Roger. I'm not going to help you. I had your return ticket cancelled, and I made sure that your passport went missing. Without an American Consulate on Gernderswap Island, you're going to end up living there for a very long time. Oh, and I cancelled your credit cards. I wonder what job a pretty young thing like you can find to pay for your room and board?

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Wrong shop

Ernie thought a flower shop would be easy pickings for burglary. However, Isley's Floral Boutique proved to be more challenging than he thought. Some vines animated and held him fast while blossoms sprayed pollen in his face. Ernie blacked out, and when he came to again, he found that he had been changed. "Holy crap!" he thought. "I'm the exact duplicate of the dame that owns this place!"