One sniff of the rare Tiresias Blossom and I ended up like this. No-one is ever going to believe that I was once Professor Clark Rimsby. There's no way I can go back to my old life now. I guess I'll have to stay and protect this glade...and cultivate more Tiresias Blossoms.
Take a look at your new body, Brian. Look familiar? It's the same as that tramp you thought you kept hidden from me. You really like big, jiggly tits, don't you? Well, I hope you're as good as she is at making them pay your way. I'm taking the house, the car, and the kids.
Oh, my God! What am I going to do? How on earth did I allow the magic wand to fall into the garbage disposal? My kids are going to be home from school any minute. How am I going to tell them that their daddy now looks like their babysitter? What on earth am I going to tell my wife?