Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Incubation period

They say that if you can go three weeks without showing symptoms after exposure to the TG Virus, you're home clear. Well, it's been twenty days, and I'm just as manly as ever...what?

Oh, shit...

Party girl

I thought I would get screwed when I wished to be able to party 24-7. But I've been dancing for thirteen days straight, I've slept with eight men and five women in that time, and I can barely remember my life as a man. This is awesome!

Monday, June 29, 2015

Fifty shades of Jean

Don't even try to lie to me. I can read your thoughts, remember? I know you tricked me into the MAU do that you could live out your Marvel sexual fantasies. Well, I have news for you. Unless you go into that box and come out looking like Psylocke, it ain't going to happen.

Wistful wish

I thought I would be happier after my first two wishes. I love my hot female body, and being a billionaire has its perks. But I find myself feeling empty inside. Maybe I should wish for true love. Or maybe I should just wish the perfect lesbian lover into existence. One who looks like...me!

Sunday, June 28, 2015


Well, Mr. Davis, the good news is that we were successfully able to rid you of your stage IV brain cancer with our experimental swap therapy. However, the bad news is that your body donor was a nineteen year old drug addict named Beth.

Channel 69

One of the lesser known features of the magic remote is the ability to transport the user into the body of any character in the show of his choice. Vince is very happy he found reruns of Baywatch on late night TV.

Saturday, June 27, 2015


That moment when you realize you can't find the amulet that let you switch bodies with your high school French teacher: priceless.

That moment when you realize that you have to teach a French class in thirty minutes, despite pulling a D in that class: equally priceless.


As, hell. I should have been more specific when I wished to be a famous movie star. I think I can handle the tits and pussy, but I don't know how I'll cope with being carried to a psychotic rabbit. He's even worse in bed than he looks.

Friday, June 26, 2015

Mad Women

I was watching an early episode of Mad Men with my husband, and he made the remark that things were better in the workplace when women were restricted to secretarial jobs. Silly man. He knew that I was a witch when we married. Did he really think I would let that sexist remark go unpunished? Honestly, I think he's starting to enjoy these little transformations of mine.


Roger's daughter wanted to have an adults-free sweet sixteen party. Roger insisted on chaperoning. The solution was obvious. Roger came to the party as "Ronnie, the cousin from out of state." His daughter was less than thrilled, but Roger (on the right) had a blast.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Stuck on slut

"Dude, shut it off! You're way over the top. I can't go out looking like this!"

"I'm sorry! It's not me! I just wanted to turn you into a schoolgirl for an hour or so to have a little laugh with you. But I don't think this thing has a reverse switch. Worse, I think it's stuck on 'slut'!"


"Alan, what's happening to me? First, I turn into a chick. Then, my hair turns blonde. Now, my tits are bigger than canteloupes!"

""It's the wand, Mark. I wished for the perfect girlfriend. I think the wand used you for raw materials, and now it's using every stray fantasy in my head to change your body."

"Well, knock it off. What will happen to me if you get the urge to have sex with a three-titted babe?"

"Um, I was actually thinking how hot it would be to date a real live superhero."

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Served cold

Look, I realize that I can't go back to my old life anymore. I've given up on being Jake McKenzie, CEO of GenCorp. If it's a choice between being a streetwalker or your trophy girlfriend, well...I guess you win. You get everything. I'm sorry I ever tried to cheat you out of the profits from our nanite research.

Enjoying your meal? I just wanted to tell you that everything--the rice, the lettuce, the meat, the sauce-- are loaded with the same nanites you used to transform me. So maybe the choice isn't just between hooker and girlfriend. Maybe I can also be a...twin sister!

Staying in Vegas

Hi, "Bill," it's me! Don't I look good in your old body? I want to thank you for taking such good care of it, and you must have done something right to grow these world class titties. Oh, don't look so angry. You were just a high priced Vegas call girl who was planning to rob me blind after we fucked. Well, guess who got robbed? Looking like this, I'm going to have a blast in your body. You should have fun in mine while you can. Before we switched bodies, the police were close to tracking me down for the bank I robbed in Reno.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015


"Girls," Evan said, "before we start the lingerie football championships, I have a confession to make. I'm really a guy who used a magic wand to change genders so I could play with you girls."

"Really?" Mandy asked. "That's so funny! I was once a guy named Mike who used the MAU to change genders."

"Magic remote," Carla said.

"Bikini Beach. Lifetime," Karen added.

The team all shrieked with laughter and headed out onto the field.

Not much help

Don't just stand there gaping, Ben. I need your help to fix this remote. You're the only one who can fix the wave modulation, so unless you want to remain as a bimbo, I'd suggest you get to work...Ben? Oh, man, that remote did a number on your brain, didn't it? Dude, I think you're in serious trouble. So, um, if you're going to be stuck like that, what do you think about the two of us going out?

Monday, June 22, 2015

Good little slut

Isn't my husband a good little slut? Just look how eagerly he tries to undress me. Can you believe that he didn't want to be turned into a girl? Well, here we are, three weeks later, and he's my eager little plaything. Just last night, he begged for me to keep him like this. I'll consider it, but only if he's good.

Princess wishes

"Elsa, is it really you? I wished that a real live princess would come to live with me!"

"No, honey. I'm not really Elsa. I'm your dad. Your wish seems to have changed me. But don't worry. I still love you very much and we can play at being princesses any time you want. But Daddy needs some alone time right now. Um, to do princess stuff."

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Keep kissing

"I don't think it's working," Brian said.

"Shut up and keep kissing," Simon replied. ""That old witch said that if we made out for six hours in our first day as girls, she would change us back. We have less than thirty minutes to go, but we're almost there."

"Simon, I don't think it would be this easy. I think she meant for us to make out with guys!"

Do we tell him?

"Do we tell him?"

"Tell him what?"

"That every sip he takes of that cocktail is turning him into more of a brain dead bimbo."

"Look, there's no way that spectacular rack is not in his field of vision. Either he doesn't know or he doesn't care that he's turning into Bambi McBoobalot. Don't you dare mess with a good thing, or I'll spike your drink, too."

Saturday, June 20, 2015

New best friend

Hi, Cindy, it's me! Don't recognize me? I'm offended. How can you not recognize your own father! Ha, ha! That's right! You didn't think I would let you travel to Hawaii without a chaperone, did you? You're only seventeen. So get a good look at your new best friend. We're going to have so much fun together!

Misery loves company

Honey, this is Amber. Well, her name used to be Harry. You see, she used to be a guy who caught the TG Virus, just like me. Ambers wife was not as understanding as you are. Do you mind if she moves in with us until she gets on her feet? She's a great cook and she's a fantastic pussy licker.

Friday, June 19, 2015

Oh, hi, honey

Oh, hi honey. I was going to tell you about the accident with body morph nanites at the lab, but the nanites appear to be functioning at a greatly accelerated rate. I thought I would have three weeks to tell you about the change. I thought I would have plenty of time to reverse the process. Instead, I reached the final stage in less than three hours. So...I hope you like the new me.

Mistakes were made

Honey, promise me you won't be mad? I accidentally broke the MAU while I was cleaning the house. I accidentally knocked it out of the window, and it bounced all the way to the street, right in front of a speeding steamroller. Strangest thing, right?

It could be worse, right? I mean, we both have these knockout bodies and...what? You don't believe me?

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Helmet off

It was fun playing Tomb Raider in the VR environment, but I seem to be stuck in here. I've tried accessing the sysadmin, using the emergency exit code, even removing the helmet. From the look of it, my consciousness has become unmodified from my body. If I am not revived soon, I could be stuck as Lara Croft forever.

Still there

Shit. They're still there. Those stupid nanites were only supposed to give me a woman's body for three days. But it's been a whole week, and nothing has changed. The directions said they wouldn't work at all after this long. I think I'm screwed. That's the last time I buy generic nanites.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Stuck like this

Dammit, Andy! Why are you dressed like some fantasy schoolgirl slut? The news reported that those little bitches who stole our bodies were killed in a car crash last night. We're stuck like this! Why are you acting like you're enjoying it?

Holding out

The potion has finally run its course. I'll change back to my old male body at midnight tonight if I can just keep myself from achieving climax in this body.

But it feels so good when I touch myself down there! And that handsome gardener keeps looking this way...

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Not a slut

OK, I get it. You're a witch, not a bitch. How many times do I have to apologize before you turn me back?...a million? You're shitting me! You stupid bitch.

Oh, crap.

The lost art of the book

"I forget, Mike. What are we doing here again?"

"Jeez, Phil, you're getting stupider fast! We need to find the info on the chemical thingy to make us guys again."

"Don't call me stupider. I'm, like, twice the biochemistry guy that you are. And stuff."

"Well, like, we're both getting dumber. That chemical spill is turning us both into bimbos."

"I have an idea. Let's ask that cute librarian for help."

"Oh he is cute."

"I saw him first!"

"Um, what we're we here for again?"

"Hooking up with smart guys! Duh!"

Monday, June 15, 2015

Coming out

You can't make me go out there. This is Dan's bachelor party. You know what those guys are like! I've done everything else you've asked. Please, just give,me the antidote and let me go back to being a guy.

Sex goddess

You should have known that wishes are usually granted literally. What were you thinking when you wished for me to be your 'sex goddess girlfriend'? Oh, I'll be your girlfriend, but remember that I have all the powers of a real goddess now. Since you forgot to specify that I SHOULDN'T be a total bitch, I'm going to make you pay for turning me into a chick.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Using the wand

OK, I'll admit it. I used the wand to give myself this body. I wanted to see what it was like to be a woman, and I guess I got a little carried away. And do you know what? It's awesome! I'm thinking of staying like this. So if you keep my secret, I'll let you fool around with my new tits...what's that? You would rather I give you a body like mine? Well, I can't say I blame you!

Fruit salad. Yummy, yummy.

Want some fruit salad? It's been marinating in my genderswap potion all night. The first berry will turn you into a cute girl for a week. Each one after that will double the length of time you're changed. I think I've had about twenty. That means I'll be changing back in about...ten thousand years!

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Mr. Kibble!

Look, lady, I don't know who you are breaking into my apartment, but I have half a mind to call the police. And get away from Mr. Kibble. He hates all visitors except my boyfriend Frank...oh, my God! Frank? Is that you? Why are you a woman?

Pink kryptonite

I never meant for this to happen. I was just an innocent bystander. Even Luthor must have been surprised when his Pink Kryptonite beam passed through Supergirl and knocked me down. I mean, kryptonite isn't supposed to effect humans, right? But that one short blast turned me into a hot chick and gave me the powers of a kryptonian. Kara and Kal-El have done their best to show me the ropes, but I have no idea how they keep their super libidoes under control. I feel like humping the whole city.

Friday, June 12, 2015

Tank no more

So, holding a magic wand in a thunderstorm. Bad idea. Before the lightning strike, my teammates called me "Tank." I was a 320 pound offensive lineman. I thought I would be more upset by the sex change, but instead my main concern seems to be for what a bad hair day I'm having.

Nanite cloud

Wow, these nanites work fast. Just five minutes ago, I was a seventy three year old white guy, the CEO of Nanogen Industries.  I slaved away to make a fortune my whole life, and now I'm going to enjoy the hell out of my next life. Um, now that I think of it, I probably should have shut down the building's ventilation system before activating the nanites. If these little guys get into the office floor, I'm going to be a member of a very sexy sisterhood.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Three for one

Don't ever make assumptions about how wishes or genies work. I thought I would get three distinct wishes when I rubbed the lamp. Instead, the genie explained (afterwards), I would get one "threefold" wish. So, when I wished for a hot babe who would be madly in love with me, the genie turned me into three babes. It's a little strange, having one mind between three bodies, but given that we're constantly turned on by each other, it's worth it!

Dawn of the Lust Elf

What the hell? One minute I was playing D&D with my old college buddies. The next thing I knew, there was a flash and I woke up in some underground dungeon. Even weirder, I'm in the body of a character who, until five minutes ago, existed only as a set of numbers on a character sheet. Leave it to me to volunteer to play the Lust Elf. I don't know whether it comes from being elvish or female, but this body feels great. I wonder how Gary the halfling is doing?

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Some joke

First you use the remote to give me this body, and you say it's a joke. Then, you "lose" the remote for a month and make me live as a chick. Another joke, you say. Now you get one look at me in my lingerie and you ask me out? Well, the joke's on you, funny boy. I'm already dating your brother.

Welcome home, sweetie

Oh, crap. Why isn't the MAU working anymore? Karen is going to flip when she discovers that I used it to turn myself into her duplicate. She's also going to be pissed when she finds out that I've been borrowing her clothes without asking...

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Resort security

Shit. I know I shouldn't have brought the MAU on vacation with me, but I wanted to enjoy my three days to the max in a place where I  could frolic in bikinis. Now some asshole broke into my hotel room and stole all my stuff. I'm stuck like this unless hotel security finds my things. And I'm due to leave tomorrow!

Time's up

Yeah, I know I said I was only going to stay in this body for a week. But I have to tell you, it's been even better than I dreamed. People keep giving me free stuff, and all I have to do is smile and flirt. Like this lake house? Vince said I could use it for free all summer, and all he wants in return are some sexy photos. So why don't you hold on to the magic remote for a while? You can call me in September.

Monday, June 8, 2015

Race of babes

So what do you say? A swimming race out to the buoy and back, with the loser paying to upgrade the winner's pass from monthly to lifetime. Are you chicken? You shouldn't be. Your flotation devices are way bigger than mine.

Safety precautions

I'm sorry, honey. This is my body from now on. We had a big breakthrough in the nanite tech division. I guess we got so excited, we didn't follow all of the safety protocols. If it's any consolation, there are now thirteen of us "Mei-47" models running around town now. So I hope that you can accept the price I paid for science. If you want, I can pass the nanites on to you, too.

Sunday, June 7, 2015


It's been so much fun experimenting with the MAU these past few days. But I know that it will be active for only another hour. Do I have the guts to remain in my ideal female body? Or do I go back to my old male self?

The Power is in me

I can't believe she gave up everything to save us. This wasn't even her planet, after all. But even then, Power Girl had the last laugh. Satisfied had demanded that she sacrifice her soul to save earth. Her body was not part of the deal.

Who am I? I'm just a poor schmuck who was in the wrong place at the right time. I witnessed the epic battle between Darkseid and Power Girl. And when it looked like the worst was going to happen, we both knew what we would have to do. I had to give up my male body so I could continue the fight in hers. Her sacrifice saved us all. She is gone, but I will live on as her.

I better go get cleaned up. I have to meet the press.

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Special agent

Yes, that's Agent Byrne. He hasn't been the same since he was captured and transformed by Doctor Nefario. We're still trying to restore his masculinity, but frankly, there isn't much hope. And until we can train him to stop dressing like some fantasy version of a concubine, I'd say there was not much chance of Byrne returning to field duty.

Gain a pole, lose a pole

In 1922, Captain Richard Byrd became the first man to fly over the North Pole. It turns out that reports of a hidden Martian base in the Arctic were true. When the captain returned to his base, he was a whole new person.