Thursday, April 30, 2015

There's an app

No, you stupid phone, work! I thought that app would only show me a picture of my ideal girl, not turn me into her! And it doesn't look like there's any function to reverse the change? What am I going to do? It's my engagement party, and my fiancee is out there. She's going to kill me when she finds out what I did. Then she's going to kill me again when she finds out my ideal woman was her little sister!

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Dumb witch

Look at that dumb witch glaring at me. I can't believe she got so upset just because I stared at her rack. If she doesn't like it, she shouldn't show off her jugs like, she's not the only one. Why is everyone else staring at me...OH MY GOD!!!

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

End of the fraternity system

Because the brothers of the Mu Alpha Upsilon fraternity had shown such flagrant disrespect to women, Dean Wormer revoked their charter. The boys came up with a plan to remain on campus by using their newly-discovered MAU to transform their fraternity into a sorority. Much to Wormer's dismay, their parties have grown no less wild.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Jiggly bits

OMG! These tits feel fantastic! Why don't you use that magic remote of yours to give yourself a body like mine, and we can really have some fun!

Sunday, April 26, 2015


My academic advisor said that they would cancel the exchange program if I don't get my grades up. I could be stuck as Akiko forever. So ewat I heard is "If you stop hanging out at the mall, we're going to take your cute schoolgirl body away."  Hai! Wakarimasu!

Queen for a day, queen for a lifetime

"Come on, Harry! We have to leave now, or the portal will close. It's your only chance to get your old body back."

"Impudent peasant! Who gave you leave to address my by that vulgar male name?"

"Cut the act. We've known each other too long. You're Doctor Harry Beal, inventor of the trans-universe portal. I know you're pissed that the jump left you in the body of the queen..."

"My disappointment is past. This body and this life offer advantages that I could never have known as a man. I choose to stay as the Witch Queen Delena. Go back to your old world and tell them that Harry Beal is no more."

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Ice cream wager

Hey, Tom? Remember when you bet me fifty bucks that I would not be able to make the Bimbo Potion in anything other than liquid form? Well, that ice cream you're eating proves that you owe me fifty bucks. If you're still smart enough to count to fifty, that is...

Your answer

First, you turn me into a chick.

Then, you break your magic remote.

Now, you want to ask me out?

Here's your answer, buddy!

Friday, April 24, 2015

Ideal daughter

Honey, put the wand down, please. It's bad enough that you turned me from your husband to your daughter. But now you seem determined to live vicariously through me. You turned me into a sexy knockout. You made me a straight A student. You made me the captain of the cheerleading team. I get it. I'm everything you weren't in high school. So why didn't you just use the wand to change yourself to live out your high school fantasy?...Oh, I get it. You ideal high school experience involves having a twin sister, doesn't it?

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Break it to her gently

"Sir, should we tell Captain Reynolds that the plane hasn't even left the ground yet?"

"Not yet, Corporal. Reynolds freaked out when he was turned into a woman when he was exposed to zeta radiation. How do you think he's going to react when he finds out he's developing superpowers?"

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Reverse psychology

Our wives think they got the best of us on this bodyswap vacation. But they're stuck all day on the boring old golf course. After we're done with our coffee, let's head back to my room and we can engage in some real vacation time activity.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

No refunds

What do you mean "no refunds"? I'm not even the one who bought the lifetime pass. My wife bought it, then she tricked me into coming here. So now you mean to tell me that I have to lug these funbags around forever?

Monday, April 20, 2015

Glade of Delight

I had stumbled into a magical glade, and it had remolded my body, changing my gender and restoring my youth. I had never felt so alive. In my head, I could hear the vice of an ancient goddess, offering me a choice.

"You may return to your old body, and when you leave this glade you will forget your entire experience here. But if you choose to remain my avatar, I shall grant you eternal youth. I will feed and grow stronger as your new body experiences sexual pleasure, and I shall grant you even further gifts if you bring more men to this glade to be transformed."

Like I needed a further incentive!

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Victory dance

Dr. Hanson broke into a victory dance when he and his team discovered the fabled Fountain of Youth. His grad student watched in amazement, first as the greying old man awkwardly danced, then as a half century of age seemed to melt off of him, and finally as his body reshaped itself into an attractive bikini clad girl. "Come on in!" Hanson called. "The water's fine!"

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Request: Leonardo's Luck

Why so angry, honey? You're the one who chose to punish me for my infidelity by paying that witch to put a curse on me? Is it my fault that I'm so much more beautiful than you? Can I help it if men just throw themselves at me and shower me with gifts? I'm not exactly sure how this was supposed to punish me for my infidelity, but don't even think about trying to get the curse reversed. That witch and I have been trying out a little lesbian experimentation as a way to cap off our shopping dates. So, um, I guess I should thank you?

A Familiar tale

My girlfriend revealed to me that she was both bisexual and a witch. It was a lot to take in, but I told her I was committed to the relationship. She said that if we were going to continue to go out, I would have to become more familiar with her. At least that's what I thought she said. I guess I assumed that she wanted me to see her naked or something. Turns out I misheard a few key words. Life as a witch's familiar is...interesting, but at least I get to see her naked.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Chocolate is good for you

All I did was steal the ears of my kid's chocolate Easter Bunny. I guess there really was a curse on that basket. Oh, well, at least Daddy has some new toys to play with.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Never guess

"Look, there's Brad and Alex. They'll never guess that we're Duncan and Ramon. Using the MAU to make 'costumes' for Comic-Con was your best idea ever."

"No, my best idea ever was actually turning us into real live superheroes, rather than just some hot chicks in costume. If you think Brad and Alex are going to freak when they find out who we really are, wait until we start flying around the convention hall."

Wednesday, April 15, 2015


So I bought into all that anti-vaccine hysteria. Sure, the TG Virus was highly contagious, but I heard that the vaccine can give you herpes. I figured that I would be safe if I just washed regularly. Well, this morning, while I was washing myself, I discovered the wisdom of vaccinations. And the irony of it all is that now I'm a dead ringer for Jenny McCarthy!

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

When you wake up

Can you hear me? Well, you couldn't answer one way or the other so I guess it doesn't matter. The nanites that are spreading through your system have completely immobilized you. I understand that the transformation process is quite painful, so you should thank me for deadening your pain receptors for the next hour or so...oh, look. The first physical changes have begun. Who would have thought that your ugly old face had the potential for such beauty? I must have reset your biological age thirty years, not that you will ever thank me for that...oh, my. You've become quite the buxom little minx, haven't you! Will those titties of yours ever stop growing? Oh, we're both going to enjoy playing with them, I assure you...I wonder if the mental programming has begun. I wish you could respond to me. I would love to know if you see me as your lord and master yet. Your old self would have appreciated the irony of the world's greatest philanderer turning into a submissive fucktoy.

Monday, April 13, 2015

Shipping error

Donna, the hot blonde next door, and I were kidnapped by aliens. For weeks, we were poked, prodded, and probed. Finally, they decided that Earth was not worth their interest, and they used their matter transmitter beam to return us to our native environment. Only they seem to have crossed the streams or something, because when we got home, we were in the wrong bodies. Not that I'm complaining. Let Donna deal with the aches and pains on my former seventy-five year old body. I'm off to a pool party!

Sunday, April 12, 2015


"Jake, you idiot! Those are the cursed strawberries!" Ted yelled. With each bite he watched his friend change from a dumpy, balding systems analyst into a blonde bombshell. Even his clothing had changed from being a filthy t-shirt with the logo of the Klingon empire to a skimpy bikini.


"You're a chick now. You know that?"


"And you know that you're going to crave sex constantly if you take another bite.


"And that the transformation is permanent?"

"So what's your point?"

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Remote revenge

"So I look at porn. Big deal," Robert said. He believed that his wife was making a huge deal out of the websites he visited. Like every guy in the world didn't do the same.

"I can't believe you think so little of women," his girlfriend said. Robert noted that, for some reason, she was holding a television remote.

"It's got nothing to do with that," Robert protested. "The women in those videos know what they're doing, and they're well paid. It's a pretty sweet life, if you ask me."

"Oh, we'll see about that," she said, pointing the remote at Robert and pressing a button. She then tossed the remote out the window. Robert could hear it smash against the pavement seven stories below.  "Good luck in your new career."

Friday, April 10, 2015

Choosing wisely

My name is Henry Smith, and I used to be an archaeologist. I always looked down my nose at treasure hunters, preferring a more analytic and scientific approach to my discipline. However, once I had translated the runes on a golden tablet we found in the Balkans, I was tempted to speak the incantation out loud. After all, they promised immortality to the speaker, and what did I really have to lose?

Let me answer that for you: My manhood. It turns out that the old gods were real, and the magic of a fertility goddess was bound up in that tablet. I have now become her avatar, bringing beauty, love, and fruitfulness wherever I go.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

One Sip

One sip is all it took to give me this body, and the cup is still nearly full. I'm not greedy. Would you like a sip? Think of the fun we'll have together. Or should I just spike the punch at the party you're throwing tonight? Imagine a room full of horny girls, all of them looking like me!

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Waking up on Genderswap Island

You never really know what you're going to get when you book a holiday on Genderswap Island. I had heard that one guest tried to sue when he was swapped into the body of an octogenarian, only to have the waiver he signed waved in his face. So I went to sleep on the first night with some trepidation.

I woke up on the Beach, greeted by the sight you see before you. Paydirt! The next two weeks were going to be awesome!

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Pick-up on aisle 13

Tom hated that the clerks at the DIY Center all snubbed him because he did look like a more conventional contractor. "Two can play at that game," he thought, and with a flick of his wand, the burly sales assistant began to change. Oblivious to the changes taking place, the 300 pound man became a petite brunette clad in revealing lingerie.

Tom still has trouble getting the attention of the clerks, but the wait is a lot less tedious.

Monday, April 6, 2015

As you wish

The genie grinned at the naivete of Roger's wish. Sometimes mortals made it so easy. There were a million ways Roger could have phrased his wish and remained a male. Instead he had to say "I wish I could be surrounded by beautiful women all day long."

Roger opened his eyes. He was now a supermodel, waiting her turn on the catwalk in the latest Victoria's Secret fashion show. The other models looked at her with envy and, in a few cases, lust. Inwardly, Roger grinned. This was exactly the way she had been hoping the genie would grant her wish.

Sunday, April 5, 2015

History class is fun!

Peter aimed his remote at his professor and hit the exchange button. In a flash, his shlubby fifty-something male history prof became the blonde bombshell he had programmed earlier. Even stranger, neither the teacher nor the other students seemed to notice anything strange.

"...and that is how industrialization transformed domestic manufacturing," Professor Von James continued. "Thus ending what was called the 'putting out' system. Now for a demonstration..."

The blonde professor tore open her shirt, revealing luscious melons. She looked expectantly at her class. In an instant, there was no shortage of volunteers to demonstrate economics with her.

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Last chance

"Martin, I don't know how much longer the wand is going to work. It sparked a lot when I conjured that dress for you. I think it's losing power fast. If we're going to change you back, were going to have to do it now.  Martin, are you listening?"

Friday, April 3, 2015

Tim touches it

"Take your hand off of that thing!" Beth shouted. She would not have believed that the sexy girl sitting in front of her was her boyfriend Tim if she had not seen him change with her own eyes.

"Why? What's wrong?" Tim asked. Apparently he was clueless about the changes he had just gone through.

"You...You're a girl!" Beth stammered.

"Of course I am, silly! And I feel so good right now. You know, I think this shrine might actually have healing energy. You should really give it a try."

Beth backed away, terrified. She couldn't abandon Tim like this, but she was confused. He seemed so happy. She found herself wondering what would happen if she touched the shrine, too.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Coins in the fountain

Dave turned away from the fountain, sighing. It was fun to imagine that the coin he had tossed in would grant his secret wish to become a sexy night elf. But magic wasn't real...or was it?

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

April Fooling

Jack thought it would be a good laugh to slip the cursed idol into Phil's room. It was April Fools Day, after all, and after Phil got over the shock of turning into a hot chick, Jack could use the idol to turn his roommate back.

When three identical girls came out of Phil's room, Jack knew something was up.

"Hey, Jack," one said. "I think I broke your idol. I liked this body so much I think I overloaded it and now there are three of me. So to make it up to you,do you want to have sex with us?"

"Hell yeah!" Jack said, ripping off his pants.

"Ain't gonna happen!" the three girls said in unison. "April Fools!"