Friday, September 30, 2016


Take a look at your new body, Brian. Look familiar? It's the same as that tramp you thought you kept hidden from me. You really like big, jiggly tits, don't you? Well, I hope you're as good as she is at making them pay your way. I'm taking the house, the car, and the kids.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Like, OMG

Oh, my God! What am I going to do? How on earth did I allow the magic wand to fall into the garbage disposal? My kids are going to be home from school any minute. How am I going to tell them that their daddy now looks like their babysitter? What on earth am I going to tell my wife?

Monday, September 26, 2016


Oh, shit. It's gone, Paul. We really are chicks now. Who would have guessed that the old lady was really a witch? I never would have stiffed her brothel if I had known. Now we're going to have to work here until we can get some ID's and some plane fare home. And even then I don't know how we'll get our old lives back.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Sugar daddy

I finally figured out how Mike is keeping me trapped in this female body. There's some kind of drug in this tea he keeps bringing me. I can get my old body back if I just throw it out...but do I really want to? Mike is actually a really sweet boyfriend, and I'd be really jealous of the next person he gave the tea to.

Thursday, September 22, 2016


You bastard. You knew that the trial period on the MAU was almost up when you tricked me into trying on my sister's body, didn't you? For starters, you can forget about getting into my pants. You want get any farther with me than you did with her. And how am I going to break it to her that her fraternal twin is now her identical twin?

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Hasta la Vista, Mike

"Shit! Look what they did to Mike! We have to help him!"

"It's too late. His brain has been implanted in a Sexbot Terminator. She's a hundred times stronger than an ordinary human and a thousand times hornier. If you get near that thing that used to be Mike, she'll fuck you to death. And if you somehow survive, they'll stick your brain in another Sexbot."

"I'm willing to take that chance..."

Sunday, September 18, 2016

An inconvenient curse

Dammit! The curse was only supposed to be triggered when I got sexually aroused. Now, I'm turning into a chick every time I experience stress. What am I going to do? I have a job interview in five minutes!

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Browser history

I don't see why you're upset, honey. I'm the one who should be mad.  You've been looking at naughty websites, haven't you? I was about to file for divorce, but why go through such pain when witchcraft offers such a better solution? You should thank me, you know. I could have turned you into a frog, or a baby, or your Great Aunt Hildegard, but instead I turned you into a composite of all of the women whose pictures are in your browser history. I don't know what you see in those large-breasted bimbo types, but perhaps you'll enjoy looking at yourself as much as you used to like looking at porn...

Friday, September 16, 2016

Pretty as...

"Daddy, will you play dolls with me?"

"Not now, sweetheart. Daddy's busy."

"I wish you would play princesses with me all the time!"

Well, my daughter got her wish. On the bright side, we now live in a castle and I don't have to work, so there's plenty of time to play with my daughter. On the downside, washing my hair takes two hours...

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Summer's end

Hey, Paul, I just wanted to say how grateful I lan you agreed to allow me to use the remote to change you this past week. My family was totally fooled into thinking you're my girlfriend. They never even suspected I was gay. So I hope you enjoyed your week in Greece. I'm really sorry I dropped the remote in the Aegean. You'll forgive me, right? Week in Greece? Free vacation? Jeez, I said I was sorry!

Monday, September 12, 2016

Second thoughts

Oooh, my wife is going to be pissed. She told me to buy my morphic nanites from a medical professional. Instead I decided to save a few bucks and I bought them from a dealer in Chinatown. His English wasn't too good, and he must have thought I was asking for a female body when I said I wanted a better body. Now my doctor tells me because I used an illegal line of nanites, they have no way of giving me my old body back.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Hiding a red hood

I admit it. Even though the children's librarian was hot, I probably shouldn't have interrupted her while she was reading to kids. I definitely shouldn't have said that fairy tales were stupid. And I probably should have guessed that she was a witch when she started to wave her arms and chant.

Saturday, September 10, 2016


Maybe it was a dumb idea to steal the morphic nanites from the lab. I had guessed that the mob was funding the research. I should have guessed they would stop at nothing to get our prototype serum back. As they closed in on me, I admit I panicked. I injected the serum, hoping to disguise myself. Hopefully, they're still looking for a sixty year old Asian man.

Friday, September 9, 2016


This was getting insane. No matter that I tried, I couldn't remove the cursed necklace.  And now, whenever someone says the word "chimpanzee," I turn more feminine and my tits grow a cup size.

In hindsight, maybe it wasn't a good idea to visit the zoo today.

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Human resources

I'm sorry we were not able to hire you in the position you applied for, Mr. Baker.  However, as part of our initiative to hire more  women and minorities, we have been able to hire you as an assistant database analyst.   I'm sure you'll find that the salary and benefits we offer more than make up for the inconveniences your transformation may have caused.

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Factory error

I'm sorry, honey. It's not my fault. The nanites I injected myself with were clearly labeled with the "Jake 3000xl" model. I should have been transformed into a well-hung stud, just like you wanted. I have no idea how they got mixed up with the "Melinda 3050", no. I don't think they're done growing yet.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016


Didn't I tell you that your manhood was a small price to pay for the power to crush cities under your feet? Soon you will grow to my size, and we will literally make the earth shake with our lovemaking. You will see how much pleasure you can have when you combine the female orgasm with massive destruction!

Monday, September 5, 2016

Stop it!

Stop it, man! I don't care how hot you make me, I don't want to be a chick. You don't even know if there's an 'undo' function on that remote of yours...Wait! Don't just randomly mash buttons! You could totally fuck up my mind with that...*giggle!* When are you going to join me on the bed, stud?

Sunday, September 4, 2016

I'll drive

Calm down, Rick, and let me drive. I know you're pissed about that cursed monkey paw, but you're so angry than I'm worried you'll have an accident before you can get back to that Spells R Us store.

Saturday, September 3, 2016

Ignore her crazy talk

You did a wonderful job on her, Yvette. She looks gorgeous. While you were working on her, did she say anything unusual?...Really? She told you that she was my husband and that you should get help for her? Isn't that silly! She doesn't look much like Mike, does she? I'd have to be some kind of witch for her story to be true....

Friday, September 2, 2016


I was going to make millions on my rejuvenation treatment. Accelerated stem cells could literally make a person's body thirty years younger in a matter of minutes. However, the FDA held up out human trials. I suspect one of the big pharmaceutical companies paid someone to stall us so they could beat us to the patent. I wasn't ready to give up, so I decided to become the first human subject. The treatment worked. I don't look like a fifty year old man anymore, do I? Of course, the side effects were a surprise.