Perfect

"Alan, what's happening to me? First, I turn into a chick. Then, my hair turns blonde. Now, my tits are bigger than canteloupes!"

""It's the wand, Mark. I wished for the perfect girlfriend. I think the wand used you for raw materials, and now it's using every stray fantasy in my head to change your body."

"Well, knock it off. What will happen to me if you get the urge to have sex with a three-titted babe?"

"Um, I was actually thinking how hot it would be to date a real live superhero."